What I Leave Behind

I have been getting cold feet the past few days, and feeling a little depressed about my journey as well. It is not that I don’t want to go, I’m sure it will be worth every discomfort to do this. It is just that in my mind I should be sharing this with one very special person: my Partner Henry. It almost breaks my heart to know that for most of the duration I will not see his beautiful face or hear his comforting voice.

Let me tell you about when we first met, nearly 11 years ago. We met on an Internet-based blind date. Actually we got the days Tuesday and Thursday confused and he called me on Tuesday, because I was late for our meeting. I rushed off to meet this stranger, and liked him the very first time I set eyes on him.

We both have admitted that we were not looking for what we found. The image we held in our heads of our future boyfriend was very different, from what each of us was. But affairs of the heart do not often follow the plans of mortals.

We both fell in love on our third date, just a week after we first met. We had had a long date and had walked together all over Hong Kong, talking. He finally ended up walking me to my door, and I kissed him goodnight. Juts a peck really. As he said in a message later that evening ” my heart did a crazy dance!” Both of our hearts danced, and as I write this, my heart skips into that singular rhythm once again.

But there are other fates at work in the world, and while perhaps not more powerful than love, they dance to their own songs. While my career is being exiled by the career fates, Henry’s is soaring to new heights. And while I did my best to tempt him to join me, he resisted and is remaining to work on his career, at least for the time being.

He remains in our flat in Hong Kong, with our stupid (actually he is quite clever and obedient) Labrador, Cody. These two boys are accompanied by our two aging cats, Mow and Cow; along with few dozen freshwater tropical creatures Henry tends to. I’ll miss them all, but I will pine for Henry every moment we are apart. It is funny how close two people can get in 11 years; funny how marriage really does turn two people into one unit.

Of course I have some very dear friends that I will miss, Victor, Toni and their daughter Ching Ching; my former first cook Jimmy, and my former manager Ken. But living as an expat for these 15 years I have gotten used to missing: Mom, Dad, Brothers, Sisters, Nieces, Nephews, Friends.

We are a communal race. The independent cannot survive on their own very long; they certainly cannot help to foster the race on their own. Yes there is something entirely unnatural about the independent nomad. And without the support of family and friends, they must surely go extinct. But from those few of us who do these things, who break away for a time; we learn, grow, and push the boundaries of life for everyone

Well, no turning back now anyway. I write this thirty thousand feet above and north east of Murgenella Australia, juts 3:44 from my first stop, Sydney. Henry I love you and thank you for supporting me. See you in 5 Weeks (Henry will join me for 2 weeks in New Zealand)

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